Help-Seeking

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Why it works

Help-seeking, knowing when and how to ask for academic, social, or emotional support, is a crucial skill that many students lack: they may avoid asking out of pride, fear of looking incompetent, embarrassment, not wanting to bother anyone, or simply not knowing how or whom to ask, and as a result they struggle unnecessarily or in silence. Research on help-seeking distinguishes adaptive help-seeking (seeking the support you need to learn and cope) from avoidance, and shows it can be taught and encouraged. Teaching it means normalizing help-seeking as a strength (not weakness), making it safe and easy to ask (reducing stigma and barriers), teaching students when and how to ask effectively, and being approachable. This protects both learning and wellbeing, and is especially important for struggling students and those facing hidden difficulties.

The research: Research on adaptive help-seeking.

The run-of-show

Choose your slot. The agenda, timings, and length update to match.

The core activity: make help-seeking a taught strength

Teachers leave making help-seeking safe, normalized, and taught.

Normalize help-seeking as a strength, not a weakness.
Make it safe and easy to ask (reduce stigma, barriers, and fear).
Teach students when and how to ask for help effectively.
Be approachable and respond to help-seeking in ways that reinforce it.

Asking for help is a strengthMany students struggle in silence. Teach help-seeking as a strength and a skill, make it safe to ask, and show students when and how, protecting their learning and wellbeing.

Facilitator notes

Normalize help-seeking as a strength, and make it safe and easy to ask.
Teach when and how.
Be approachable and reinforce it.

Students who can't or won't ask for help struggle in silencePride, fear, and not knowing how keep struggling students from asking. Normalize help-seeking as a strength, make it safe, and teach the skill.

Adapt it

Elementary: normalize asking, how and whom, make it safe.
Secondary: reduce stigma, when and how, approachable.
All settings: help-seeking as a strength, safe and taught.

Participant handout

One page for every teacher. Print it, or save it as a PDF.

K12 Academics · Professional Learning

Help-Seeking: a taught strength

Asking is strength: normalize it, make it safe and easy, teach when and how, and be approachable.

How I normalize help-seeking as a strength:
How I make it safe and easy to ask:
How I teach when and how to ask effectively:
How I am approachable and reinforce help-seeking:
A barrier to asking to remove:

Make it stick

A taught strength:

Make help-seeking a taught strength.
Be approachable.
Bring a help-seeking practice to the next PLC.

Common questions

Why don't struggling students just ask for help?

Pride, fear of looking incompetent, embarrassment, not wanting to bother anyone, or not knowing how or whom to ask. Many struggle in silence. Help-seeking is a skill that must be taught and made safe.

How do I teach help-seeking?

Normalize it as a strength (not weakness), make it safe and easy to ask (reduce stigma and barriers), teach when and how to ask effectively, and be genuinely approachable.

Isn't asking for help a sign of weakness?

The opposite. Adaptive help-seeking, getting the support you need to learn and cope, is a strength and a skill. Teach students this, and protect their learning and wellbeing.